Where to Start?

Where to start is a very good question. When you’re feeling like shit and not sure where to turn it can feel like the biggest task in the world seeking help. I’ll go ahead and tell you my story. Here’s the deal if you were to look at my life from the outside, it’s pretty fucking peachy. White, middle-class woman, grew up in middle America to two parents that loved me. We went to church, did the whole Jesus thing, paid our dues and all that jazz. I went to university studied fashion design and even got myself a scholarship to study in London, England. I could go on, but what’s the point.

Basically, I did all the things I thought I was suppose to do; be a good Christian girl, follow the rules, stand in line, don’t question or God won’t love you, get the degree so you can go on to make lots of money and live that amazing life. Well, money I did not make and the amazing life I thought I wanted left me feeling well, empty.

I have done some very cool things in life, I’ve travelled, had my own clothing line, been on many photoshoots, gone to epic festivals, met the most amazing people, played in a band, had my own radio show, I mean life has been pretty awesome. But one day it wasn’t awesome anymore. I just couldn’t get myself to feel the joy I once did. Living in London was awesome but I was still feeling unworthy, not good enough and this really had taken a toll on me. I was having fun but something still wasn’t adding up.

I moved to Frankfurt, Germany 2 1/2 years ago. I was excited but also very apprehensive. I knew it wasn’t going to be an easy transition. After all Frankfurt wasn’t the city I wanted to be in, Berlin was. But I agreed to give it ago. I made some friends, started a business called The Frankfurt Edit and to be honest had some pretty fun times, met some awesome people, even had lots of opportunities here in Frankfurt that I didn’t have in London. But still something wasn’t right. Finally, I decided to do something about it. I couldn’t handle waking up depressed every day. I couldn’t handle feeling lost. I was ready to get the help but I was so confused on where to look or who to ask. So I got on instagram and asked around for a therapist that spoke English as I wasn’t ready to speak about my feelings in German. I even went to the doctor to get a recommendation and referral to a therapist. I also thought while looking for the right therapist I would ask around for a good tarot card reader. I had had several readings in the past and they really gave me hope and direction. I put it out there again on instagram, yes instagram works wonders for referrals and recommendations. A follower of mine got back with me and said her mother was exceptional at reading cards, so I noted the suggestion. Another friend suggested Hedy who was a tarot reader/psychic. I wasn’t sure who to turn to first. So I went with Hedy. My session with her was good, but had me more confused then before. I walked away feeling so depleted. She basically said fashion was not the direction for me and that I had a whole new direction I was suppose to take. I was like what???? Fashion is all I know, what could I possibly do with myself? Fashion was all I knew or so I thought.

You see I’m someone that needs confirmation so I decided to try out Colette the other woman that was recommended by her daughter. Well, long story short, Colette basically said the same thing. She said my life was about to go in a different direction and it’s time for me to let go of what was not serving me.. She also said that I needed to be heard, that I had been silent for way too long. Luckily, Colette is a licensed therapist and suggested I come see her. Colette was exactly what I needed a therapist and spiritual healer. So you see my journey to healing all started with a tarot reading.

It’s important to know that therapy/healing doesn’t have to come from your typical therapy sessions, there are so many options for you. This is what my focus is now, learning about all the different forms of self healing out there and share them with you. I want to give people a 360 view of what’s out there. Some of you just need to dance, so may find ecstatic dance or dance movement therapy helpful. Some of you may want to use art as a form of healing so art therapy would be better for you or maybe sound/music therapy would be great for you or maybe even just a tarot card reading is all you need to set you on the right path.

It’s all in you, it’s just knowing where to turn to get the help. Just know I’m with you all the way. It’s a beautiful journey of self-discovery once you find what works best for you.

Here’s to a healthier future you!

Kelly