What is Flow?
The River Cannot Go Back
Kahlil Gibran
It is said that before entering the sea
a river trembles with fear.
She looks back at the path she has traveled,
from the peaks of the mountains,
the long winding road crossing forests and villages.
And in front of her,
she sees an ocean so vast,
that to enter
there seems nothing more than to disappear forever.
But there is no other way.
The river can not go back.
Nobody can go back.
To go back is impossible in existence.
The river needs to take the risk
of entering the ocean
because only then will fear disappear,
because that’s where the river will know
it’s not about disappearing into the ocean,
but of becoming the ocean.
Over the last few years I have experienced resistance that I can’t even explain to you. My body physically not wanting to comply with what was going on around me. The feeling of resistance is taxing on so many levels. It’s exhausting, frustrating and complicated. But why the resistance? Why make things harder for myself then they already are?
Many times resistance is the result of not being in alignment with yourself or a lost of connection with yourself. Resistance is the opposite of flow. I kept hearing the word flow, get into your flow, let your life flow, blah blah blah and I physically or mentally couldn’t understand this term. There was so much resistance I was dealing with flow had no room to well flow into my life.
So what is resistance and what is flow?
RESISTANCE: the refusal to accept or comply with something.
Most of the time resistance is a result of fear. What are you afraid of? When we are put in an unsettling situation we resist because we are fearful. We are unsure of the outcome. It’s a defensive mechanism which is completely natural. But what if there is so much fear of the unknown that you are holding yourself back?
How do you loose this fear? How do you get back into an alignment with yourself?
Many times it’s taking one small step at a time. Moving slow. Not forcing too much, a steady movement. That’s all you can ask of yourself. It’s also asking yourself, what do I have to loose by moving forward, trying something new, by putting myself out there? We don’t grow by sitting still for too long. We grow by pushing ourselves.
Resistance is also a factor of not being in alignment with your true self. For many of us, knowing our true self is a complete mystery. Who am I? Where am I going? Why am I here? How did I get here? Taking the time to ask ourselves these questions can help get us back in alignment with who we are truly meant to be. Once an alignment starts to form then this is where flow can enter in.
FLOW: a flow state, also known as colloquially as being in the zone. Mental state in which a person performing some activity is fully immersed in the feeling of energised focus, full involvement, and the enjoyment in the process of the activity.
You are in the most creative, productive, and happy when you are in the state of flow.
Flow is about letting go, it’s about being so immersed in your life, letting it ebb and flow as they say. But for this to happen you have to let go of the tight grip you have on your life.
But how do I just let go? God, this is a tough question. I am still learning how to let go. I’ve found for myself it’s being still in the moment. Focusing on being present. Finding ways to bring joy into my everyday life. Little things that make me smile and trying not to think too far ahead. It’s been a step by step process for me. I have felt like every single door I’ve tried to walk through has slammed right in my face and I soon realised that I was trying to force life to happen and I wasn’t allowing flow to come into my life. So I started to surrender.
I started to surrender through long walks, meditation, dancing freely, giving gratitude and by saying ok, I’m here, what do you have for me today?
What are characteristics of flow and how do you know it’s starting to happen for you?
Complete concentration on a task
Clarity of goals and reward in the mind and immediate feedback
The experience is intrinsically rewarding
Effortlessness and ease
There is balance between challenge and skill
Actions and awareness are merged, losing self-conscious rumination
There is a feeling of control over the task
A lot of these happen to be when you are physically involved in a task, but I think the most important is when you feel like your life is effortless and with ease.
We’ve been taught that life must be hard. Work harder and longer, but that’s not always the case. For many of us working longer and harder doesn’t result in anything worth wild, just burnout and frustration.
Ease is what you want to feel, less stress and an all knowing that you are in the flow of your life. When you are in the flow many things just start happening for you without you even having to lift a finger. The right people start entering your life, the right opportunities appear and bottom line, you feel good.
Now ease doesn’t mean no effort, you still need to put in effort, but the effort is fun, effortless and you don’t experience any resistance and that’s where we want to get too.
So when you start to feel a resistance towards you life, situation or person, ask yourself, what is really going on here? Is there fear? What am I afraid of? Am I out of alignment? How do I get back to the ease and flow?
By sitting with yourself. Take a moment and sit in stillness and go inward. All the answers you need are within you, you just need to check in.
kelly xx