Season 2, Episode 11: Colette Moran, Boundaries
What are boundaries?
According to the Webster Dictionary a boundary is a line which marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.
Boundaries in a relationship help each person figure out where one person ends and the other begins. Boundaries help you define what you are comfortable with and how you would like to be treated by others. They apply to any kind of relationship you have – whether with a friend, family member, partner or anyone else in your life.
I’ve realised recently that I hadn’t put any boundaries into place and because of this I had my boundaries crossed. And because my boundaries had been crossed I felt hurt, betrayed and angry. But how is one to know they are crossing a boundary if you have not been clear on what they are?
How do you know your boundaries? The more you know your core values, the more you know your boundaries. You must know what you will and will not tolerate. You have to know your self-worth and not be willing to compromise it. If you don’t know your self-worth how will anyone else know it. Be clear on what you are willing and unwilling to take. Don’t let your friends, family or work walk all over you. You can have boundaries but still be open, kind and fun. All a boundary does is keep people from crossing a line.
For example, let’s say you’ve told your boss you can’t work on Fridays and that’s been agreed, but soon you find your boss scheduling meetings or calls on Fridays. This is crossing your boundary, even when you’ve been very clear. Or you’ve been too relaxed with your friends about your feelings and they keep bringing things up that you really don’t want to talk about. You then need to put a boundary into place.
Boundaries are there to keep people in check, to keep yourself in check and too make sure everyone is being respected.
Too many times people haven’t put boundaries into place because they don’t want to seem rigid but I promise you, once you make your boundaries clear, there is way more respect.
It’s super important to have boundaries in your relationships. How many times have you been in a relationship and you’ve felt uncomfortable in a situation but didn’t say anything because you didn’t want to be that girl??!!! Be that girl!!! Let your partner know what is and is not acceptable in your relationship. Don’t let anyone make you feel like shit.
Own who you are, own you feelings, and own your boundaries!!!!!
In this week’s episode I chat with my therapist Colette Moran about boundaries. We discuss what they are, why one may not have boundaries put in place and how you must first know your core values in order to instil your boundaries.
Contact Colette for counselling or a tarot card reading here.
Listen to her first episode here.